Page 11 - Funny Corner

*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)

<kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
<nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
<kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.

<MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
<mat|t> rofl
<MortalKombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!

<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your *** would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?

ok i think i'm done with that

<Calvinosaur> You missed philosophy class today, huh?
<71mm34> yeh
<Calvinosaur> You know how Mr. Warren's policy is to read all the passed notes out loud to the entire class?
<71mm34> no ive never expereinced it
<Calvinosaur> Well, we really threw him for a loop today ...
<Calvinosaur> Josh passed a note that made it around the whole class before Mr. W caught it.
<Calvinosaur> Mr. W read it, walked out the door, and came back in ten seconds later.
<Calvinosaur> We were in stitches at this point.
<71mm34> wat did it say
<Calvinosaur> "Mr. W's fly is open."

<@TheRef>My girlfriend caught me sleep-wanking last night
<hoochy>lol, typo. i'm a post that to bash
<@TheRef>Dude, that wasn't a typo.

[17:05] <thinkmad> christ man
[17:05] <thinkmad> i just caught my dad jerking off

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation, one of them
kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems?
Listen to my
situation."
"A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.
We got married and got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father
married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my
father
became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her
father-in-law".
"Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son,
This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son. But he
was
also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's
grand-son.
That made me the grand-father of my half-brother."
"This was nothing until my wife and I had a Baby. Now the
half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother, This
makes my
father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my
father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her
own
child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN
GRANDFATHER!"
"And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!"

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?"

The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella instead of the rifle. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went "bang, bang, bang"..... AND THE BEAVER FELL DEAD!!! What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver."

The doctor said, "My point exactly."

As most young, weak and smart kids are, Ken was picked on constantly by the bullies in school.

They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just downright made his life miserable.

It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he found out what would get them back, he went all out.

He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like small brown balls in it. He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth as obvious to the rest of the kids as possible making yum yum noises.

The bully without asking snatched the jar from Ken's hand and asked, "What's in the bottle that you are making such a big deal of?"

"Well, they're smart pills."

"Smart pills?" the bully asked. Then opened the jar and popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth.

"Pweeuuweppblahhh!!" he reacted. "What is this stuff? It tastes like rabbit st*ff!!"

"See, you're getting smarter already."

My bf had snuck in my window an we were fooling around an i began to suck him we both were naked under the cover an he began to cum in my mouth then i stopped an some landed on my face.
next thing i hear it the door open to my room an my mom coming in i jump an fell off the bed an my mom ran to help i was completely naked. my mom asked if i was alright i said yeah you just scared me an i fell out of the bed. my bf was still under the blankets not moving. my mom asked why i was naked. i said i like sleeping named. then she handed me a tissue an said it looks like you have a runny nose you better get back to bed so you do get a cold and she left. she never knew it was my mans juice, or that he was in my bed!