Page 33 - Funny Corner

lol JMH! good one!

I know,

nice one JMH

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor he sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good-Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good-Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no
men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
-----------------------------------------------------------

I have one addition to the wife store which would be on at least the third floor: wives that love sex, have money, and can cook

lol JMH

lol JMH

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no
coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
&n bsp;9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this
parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

Warning - Don't read if easily offended

A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States .

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank
you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food
stamps, free medical care, and free education!"
The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having
such a beautiful country here in America !" The person says, "I not American,
I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America !" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not
American!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says,
"No, I am from Africa !" Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work."

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race.

The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool.

The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out.

The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde".

The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."