Page 6 - Funny Corner

LOL

I don't know if this counts for funny corner,
but it makes me laugh

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers.

"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.

How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed lawyer.

"Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers.

When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Job Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Personnel Officer asked the young Engineer fresh out of University, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of £75,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."

The Personnel Officer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 6 weeks paid holiday, full medical and dental care, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Jaguar?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the Personnel Officer said, "Of course, ...but you started it."

Stop - you're killing me!!

hehe, just nicking them from my old uni forum

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered." The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order." The Third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable." Fifth surgeon said, "I like Engineers...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."

Yes, but to the computer person ...

The glass is too large for the current application.

Bruce walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:
"I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says:
"I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

> Three little ducks go into a
>Bar..............................
>
>
>
>"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.
>
>"Huey," was the reply.
>
>"How's your day been, Huey?"
>
>
>"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day.
>What else could a duck want?" said Huey.
>
>"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck,
>"Hi, and what's your name?"
>
>
>
>"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
>
>"So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked.
>
>
>
>"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles
all
>day myself. What else could a duck want?"
>
>The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be
>Louie?"
>
>"No," she said, batting her eyelashes.
>
>"My name is Puddles."